Second Thought

...Assalamualaikum...

thanks to Allah i managed to finished my second sem in USM . alhamdulillah next sem will be my second year (insyaAllah)

now , i am currently in my home town :)

QUESTION : have u ever think about getting married ?

yes , of course . everyone have an urge to get marry but we must remember that 'jodoh', 'ajal' and 'maut' , all in His hand.

....

now i'm in love with this one guy . okay we've been in relationship for about two years. alhamdulillah he doesn't just want me to be his girlfriend . he would like to take me as his wife when the time comes . it's a lie if we didn't even think about our future . we talk about it a lot . and try to be a better person for each other .

but...

right now , i just have some second thought . 

" what if he is not my jodoh ? maybe he is a person that Allah send to me as a test ? " 

have anyone has this thought before ?

i was thinking to do the 'solat istikharah' but the feeling make me scared . i dont know how to,put it in words but it hurts me a lot.

QUESTION : have u ever think about your real jodoh ?

what if...?

there is other guy out there , frankly see u and ...

guy : end of this week i'll come to your house to send ' rombongan meminang' .

girl : sorry but i think u get the wrong person .

guy : huh *smirking* . u are my 'jodoh' . you've been made just for me . 

girl : i've never met u before and i don't even know who u are .

guy : u will know who i am . just do istikharah and u will get the same feeling as i am .

girl : i'm really sorry but i've already have my own life and the person i want to go through          

        my life .

guy : it's okay then . everyone make mistake . i will forgive u . send my regard to your 

        family . and please accept them . do istikharah and u will know .

girl : *confused*

if this situation is real , what would u do ?

what about the guy that u've promised to be his wife ? what about his feeling ? what about the new guy that u've just met ? which one is true , which one is wrong ? what should you do ?

just because of that second thought , every unpredictable thing can happen . do istikharah . and please 'doa' to Allah . because He always know what is the best for you .